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  The Smallest Role

by New York Times Bestselling Author

Amy Harmon

The Smallest Part

Copyright © 2018 by Amy Harmon

Smashwords Edition

ISBN-xiii:

All rights reserved.

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved to a higher place, no function of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval organization, or transmitted, in any form, or by any ways (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the higher up publisher of this volume.

This is a piece of work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author'south imagination or are used fictitiously. The writer acknowledges the trademarked condition and trademark owners of various products, bands, and/or restaurants referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

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***

Table of Contents

Championship Page

Epigraph

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Affiliate 3

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter 6

Chapter Seven

Chapter 8

Affiliate Nine

Affiliate Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter 13

Chapter Xiv

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Affiliate Xviii

Chapter 19

Affiliate Twenty

Chapter Twenty-I

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

Extract from The Law of Moses

About the Author

Other Titles

In the end, only three things matter:

How much you loved,

How gently yous lived,

And how gracefully you let become

Of things not meant for y'all.

Unknown

***

Prologue

It was a big prevarication. The biggest lie she'd ever told. Information technology reverberated through her head equally she said it, ringing eerily, and the girl behind her eyes—the girl who knew the truth—screamed, and her scream echoed along with the prevarication.

"Are you in love with Noah, Mercedes?" Cora asked. "I mean . . . I know you honey him. You've been friends forever. We all have. But are you in beloved with him?"

Mercedes had wondered since if her response would have been different had she been facing Cora, looking into her big, blue eyes as she answered the question. She didn't know if she would accept been able to hide the truth from her. Cora knew her likewise well. Merely Mercedes had been lying to herself for a long time, and she was good at information technology. She was the mighty stone-face, the tough chick, the sassy Latina, and Cora loved Noah too. She was in love with Noah.

And then Mercedes lied.

"Ha! No. Not like that. Never like that. Noah is like my brother. No." Mercedes heard the prevarication in the way her accent of a sudden appeared when she said "never." Her r curled, and curled again on "brother," underlining the falsehood. Mercedes didn't speak English language at home, but she spoke it fluently, and her emphasis only reared its ethnic caput when she wanted it to. Or when she was total of shit. Mercedes wasn't selfless. Noah had kissed her, and she had kissed him back. She thought about him constantly. Forenoon, noon, and night. If information technology had been anyone else—anyone—she would have stuck out her breast, folded her skinny artillery, and permit her feelings exist known. She would have claimed him. She would have.

But information technology was Cora. Dauntless, cute, broken Cora.

When Mercedes watched Noah and Cora together, they looked correct. They fit. Cora had always been taller than all the boys, merely she wasn't taller than Noah. Noah grew six inches his sophomore yr in high schoolhouse, climbing to six-pes two, and he and Cora were like slender trees, looking down on a forest of saplings, looking downwards on Mercedes with their lovely benevolence. Mercedes grew a few inches herself sophomore year and topped out at five-foot 2. She was grateful to have reached that non-and then-lofty height; her mother, Alma, was v anxiety on her tip-toes, and Oscar, her papi, had been five-foot six in his dreams.

Cora's willowy frame and sweet temperament complemented Noah's lean top and his introspective nature. Noah's eyes were the saddest, wisest eyes Mercedes had ever seen. His optics had e'er been that way. The wavy, brown curls flopping over his forehead and coiling at his nape softened his angular face with all its sharp edges. He'd buzzed information technology once, the summer before eighth grade, and he'd looked so naked, so foreign, that Mercedes had made him promise never to do it again. Information technology had scared her seeing him that manner, as if there were no child left inside him, equally if in that location never had been. Merely when Cora was effectually, Noah'south eyes weren't nigh so sad and near then wise. But then dearest makes fools of everyone, doesn't information technology?

Mercedes knew Noah first. She could accept said that. She could have chosen dibs. They met when they were eight years one-time, two years earlier Cora moved into the Three Amigos apartment complex. He'd been leaning confronting the door to his unit, playing with a yo-yo. His knees were knobby and his shorts too short, as if he never grew wider, only longer, and had been wearing them since he was four.

"How-do-you-do," Mercedes had greeted him, her eyes on the billowy string and the expert way he moved his wrist. He had such patience, such a quiet containment, even then . . .

His eyes lifted, smiling at the corners, before they dropped back to the shiny red yo-yo with the dingy string.

"Hello," he responded softly.

"I'thousand Mercedes. You can telephone call me Sadie. I live over there." She pointed at the door across the hall.

"Mercedes? Similar the auto?"

"Is information technology a absurd car?" she asked.

"Expensive."

"Well then, yeah. Just like the car." Mercedes nodded seriously. Expensive was adept.

"I'k Noah."

"Like the guy with the ark?" she asked.

He flipped the yo-yo up into his palm but didn't release it again. His brow furrowed as he studied her.

"What guy is that?"

"You lot know. He had a big ark and put the animals on information technology because the world was going to be flooded. The guy who's responsible for rainbows."

"I've never heard of him." His eyes were broad. "How many animals did he save?"

Mercedes laughed, bewildered. Everyone knew nearly Noah's ark, didn't they? She'd been raised on Noah'south ark and Daniel in the lion's den and Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. She knew all the Bible stories. It was the only book her grandma—her abuela—always read to her. They even had a picture of the pope on their living room wall and the Virgin Mary above the toilet, with little candles resting on the tank. Abuela insisted, because it was the merely place there was always any privacy for prayer.

"He saved all kinds. Ii of each. A daughter and a boy."

"And the rainbow?"

"God told Noah he wouldn't ever flood the earth once again and gave him a rainbow as a promise.

"Huh. Cool. How long ago was that?"

"A long, long time. Almost 300 years or so," Mercedes mused, liking the way it felt to know the answers to his questions. Beingness the youngest in her family—a family that consisted of her and her parents, her maternal grandmother, an aunt, and 2 older cousins all crammed into a 3-bedroom apartment—meant no ane listened to her. It was crowded, and Mercedes was a beloved annoyance.

"Huh." Noah suddenly looked hundred-to-one. "What if one of the animals died?"

Mercedes didn't really know what he was request, so she shrugged.

"What if the daughter tiger died? Or the male child lion?" he persisted.

Oh. Mercedes realized what he was getting at. Yous had to accept one of each to have a infant. Abuela had explained that much.

"I approximate they didn't die since we have lions and tigers now, right?"

"Hmm. Maybe that's why dinosaurs are extinct," he pondered, rubbing his chin.

"They wouldn't have fit on the ark, anyhow, at least not Brontosaurus," Mercedes added wisely.

"And so only two of each?" he queried.

"Yeah. Merely two."

Only two.

And Cora and Noah were a pair. A cute pair.

And then Mercedes lied.

And with that lie, she let him get.

***

One

1985

"What is she doing?" Mercedes whispered. Her vox was awed, not critical, and Noah tipped his head in consternation, not sure he knew.

"She'southward talking to someone," he whispered back.

"Merely in that location'due south no one there," Mercedes insisted.

They watched the daughter, a wisp of pale limbs and fiery hair, every bit she twirled around and talked dramatically to someone they couldn't see.

"She's so pretty," Mercedes whispered. "She looks like a fairy who'southward lost her wings."

"Or her marbles," Noah murmured. He was working his way through a stack of library books and had borrowed Peter Pan by J.Chiliad. Barrie on a whim. It was better than he'd anticipated. The red-haired girl kind of reminded him of Tinker Bell, come to think of it. Tinker Bell or Tootles, the lost boy who had lost his marbles. It turned out the marbles were Tootles's happy thoughts. Maybe the girl was trying to notice her happy thoughts. Noah looked downwardly at Mercedes, continuing transfixed beside him. She seemed enchanted with the red-haired girl.

"Her proper noun is Cora," Noah offered, hoping Mercedes wouldn't leave him behind. With a daughter to play with, one of the same age, Mer wouldn't demand him anymore. "She lives in 5B."

"Is she older than us? She looks older," Mercedes mused, wrinkling her nose.

"No. She'southward ten too."

"Have you lot talked to her?"

"No. She was crying when I saw her yesterday." Her tears had made Noah turn effectually and walk away, and he'd felt bad about it always since. He'd wanted to give her privacy, but he should have asked her if she was okay.

"Was she hurt or was she sad?"

"Distressing, I call up. Something'south wrong with her dad," Noah said.

"How exercise you know all of this if you haven't talked to her?" Mercedes asked, suspicious.

"My mom talked to her mom."

"Your mom . . . talked?" Mercedes gaped. Noah's mom—Shelly—rarely left the house in the daylight. She worked nights in the hospital, in the records department, all solitary with rows and rows of files and a big ring of keys. Noah thought the hospital was peaceful at night. Mercedes said it sounded creepy. His mother slept during the day, she always had dark circles under her eyes, and Mercedes had never heard her say a word. Noah spoke for her when Mer was around.

"My mom probably just listened," Noah amended, merely Mercedes wasn't paying attention to him anymore. She was watching the girl, Cora, with a delighted smile.

"She's playing pretend," Mercedes crowed, as if solving the puzzle. "Perhaps she'll let usa play with her."

At that moment, the girl turned and saw them watching her. She smiled, and Noah'due south jiff caught. Her grin was like sunshine, warm and bright and welcoming. She waved eagerly, as though they'd already met, and she'd been waiting for them to bring together her.

"Come on, Noah," Mercedes said, slipping her hand into his and pulling him forward. "She's going to exist our friend."

* * *

2004

Cora stood on Mercedes's doorstep looking disheveled and disorganized, her one-year old daughter, Gia, on her hip. Her hair hung to her waist in slightly tangled, crimson waves—embankment hair. She wasn't made upward, and her bluish eyes were shadowed, her freckles dark on her pale cheeks, but she was still beautiful. Slim and tall, narrow-hipped and minor-breasted, she'd thought almost being a model until she realized modeling meant she would have to go out Noah and Mercedes behind. They had all been inseparable in one case. Shared fear. Shared doubt. Shared childhood. Whatever information technology was, it had cemented them.

Cora set Gia down and watched her walk on teetering steps across Mercedes'south living room to the couch, where Gia grabbed a agree and tossed a triumphant await over her shoulder, as if to say, "Did you see that?"

Mercedes clapped and scooped her up.

"You're walking! She's walking, Cora!" Mercedes danced with Gia, who giggled and burped and giggled again.

"She just ate, Sadie. Don't jostle her or her canteen is going to finish up all over your shirt," Cora warned. Mercedes fix Gia down, steadying her, and backed away. "Come run across me, Gia. Come to me!" Gia toddled toward her godmother, zombie-like, arms out, legs stiff.

"When did this happen?" Mercedes shrieked, swooping her up again. "She was crawling on her altogether, and now this!" Mercedes was devastated that she'd missed the transition. Gia had turned one two weeks ago. Mercedes had hosted a party with a few of their friends and and then many pinkish balloons her living room had looked like a bubble bath commercial.

"A few days agone. Noah turned around, and she was following him," Cora reported.

"Then big!" Mercedes crowed. "And so smart. Such a smart girl!"

Cora shifted, hovering past the door. She looked weary. Worn.

"Well, she's eaten, but what about you and me? Where should we go for dejeuner?" Mercedes asked, kissing Gia'south cervix, merely to have her squirm to be put down.

"Actually, I have a doc's engagement. I'm distressing. I scheduled it for today, thinking I could ask you to watch her, and then forgot all nearly it. Can she stay here for an hour or two? That's not as fun as going to lunch, but honestly . . . Gia's a handful, and we'd be chasing her all over the eating place."

"Sure. No trouble. Are you okay, Cora?"

"Yep. Fine. Just a one-year, post-infant exam. Cypher to worry about. I could bring her with me, but . . . she's into everything . . . and . . ." There was something about her tone, her listlessness, that fabricated Mercedes not believe her. Cora wasn't uncomplicated. She was deeply complex, but she hid from her complexities by smiling banally at the world and making everyone believe nil flickered behind her eyes.

"I'll come with y'all. I'll stay in the waiting room with Gia while yous have your bank check-upward. And when you're done, we'll go out. Or nosotros can come back here and eat. I'll trim your ends and wax all your unwanted hair," Mercedes offered, waggling her eyebrows. Beautifying humanity was her gift and her goal.

"Wow. Waxing. That'south really tempting, Sadie," Cora deadpanned. "I'll laissez passer."

"I'll give you a pedicure too. Y'all'll feel like a new woman when I'm done. Nothing feels as good as being pretty from caput to toe."

"That would be nice. I don't feel very pretty lately." Cora's grinning was wan. "But in that location's no reason to become with me to the doctor. Yous and Gia volition be much happier here. I'll come up back when I'm done, and I'll let you lot have your manner with me. I know you. You lot'll pester me until I requite in."

"Yeah. I volition. And Cora?"

Cora'due south eyes skittered away. "Yes?"

"You would tell me if something was incorrect, wouldn't you lot?�

�� Mercedes pressed.

Cora looked out the open up door as though she needed to go going.

"Are you late?" Mercedes asked. Cora tended to be very late or very early, like her internal clock was always off.

"No. No, I accept time," she said. Only she stayed near the door, her eyes focused on the light streaming in from outside. "If something were to happen to me . . . you lot would take care of them, wouldn't you, Sadie?" she asked.

"What are y'all talking about?" Mercedes gasped, gaping at her friend.

"Nothing. Just thinking out loud. Information technology's hormones. Ignore me." Cora tried to smiling.

"Hormones or not . . . you're scaring me."

Cora waved her mitt, dismissing the words. "I'grand okay. But actually tired. I oasis't slept through the night for so long, I can't remember what a expert night'due south residual feels like. I'g in a fog most days."

"Are you however nursing Gia at nighttime?"

"No. I weaned her." Her oral fissure trembled, and Mercedes's unease ratcheted upward another notch.

"That'southward good, right?" Mercedes said softly. "You'll sleep better if you're not getting up to feed her. And she'due south over a twelvemonth old now."

Cora's eyes filled up with tears, and she nodded quickly, wiping her eyes. "It's skillful. I tin get back on my medication, I'll have my body back, and peradventure Noah will get his married woman back. I oasis't been a very good married woman. Merely I'yard pitiful that it's over. I loved nursing her."

Mercedes nodded, not knowing what to say. She'd never been a mother, never nursed a child, never experienced the bike of emotions she was sure were typical of the first twelvemonth.

"I amend go." Cora leaned down until her face hovered to a higher place her daughter'due south caput. She kissed Gia's featherlike crown and said, "I love you, Gia problems." Gia smiled and instantly latched on to her mother'south curtain of red pilus. Cora patiently unclamped the trivial hands from her long locks and straightened.

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